taking it seriously

I've often seen advice from published novelists to dedicate a space and time every day to do nothing but write. Up to now, I've been writing sort of whenever/wherever -- in front of the TV, while I'm working or online, etc.

I haven't been very happy with the quality of my writing, so last night, during the time I normally goof off while waiting to get sleepy enough to go to bed, I turned everything off and did some writing, and it was much better. So I'm going to try and continue doing that. It's amazing what you can do when you're not trying to multitask.

bah

Picked up something by Martha Grimes, and think I hit pay dirt. She's good. But why do I gotta feel so bad when I read a good writer? I fear I may have ruined reading for myself for the rest of my life. Will I ever be able to read a book again without being consumed by jealousy, or smothered by my own superiority?

a market of one

I started writing Nine Days purely for personal entertainment purposes, when I couldn't find a mystery novel among currently published books that I could stand to read. Lately, I've found myself hamstrung by self-consciousness, because I've gotten invested in the idea of publishing. I'm compromising characters and scenes, writing them the way I think they 'should' be written, in order to 'sell,' or some other crap.

A couple of weeks ago, I was in a chat room that I've frequented for many years, even before this novel-writing nonsense started, and someone I don't know very well told me she was a writer. We talked a bit, and then she started to give me advice. 'Write an outline and stick to it,' she said, authoritatively. So I wrote an outline, even though the book is almost 'finished.' It was a good exercise, and I got some really useful ideas from it. I started thinking I should re-write the book, make it more 'interesting' (that would be re-start number eight, with no complete draft yet finished).

A couple of days later, I saw my online writer again, and asked her about her own work. Long story short, she's a journalist, not a fiction writer, and has never published a novel. She writes 'for a trucking company.' So what the hell is she doing giving out authoritative advice on writing novels? She says she knows about them because she has published fiction authors in her family. By that logic, I should be able to teach you all to speak German. Ready?

My point being: I've gotten so far off course that I'm taking advice from people who don't know jack.

Part of this whole process, for me, was to write the kind of mystery novel that I would enjoy reading, not the kind of mystery novel that some mass-market target shopper would. There's plenty of that crap out there already. The bookstore shelves are loaded with them, most of them horrible (to my personal taste, I'm saying). It's entirely possible that I'm a market of one, and that I will be the only person on earth that will enjoy the book when it's done, and if that's the case, so fucking be it.

So I'm going to finish the draft I'm currently working on. It may be a mess when it's done, but it will be my mess.

no

I've decided against participating in Nanowrimo. I think it's an interesting idea, but I've got too much invested in the current book to start over.

recent find

I just stumbled on this writer, Lisa Unger. She's the kind of writer that makes me want to give up, because she's so good at the kind of writing I want to be good at.

yes, it was crazy

I knew it was. The rules of Nanowrimo say you have to start the novel 'from scratch' on November 1, so that lets me out.

Officially, anyway. I may just play along unofficially.

Damn it. It was such a good idea!

is this crazy?

OK, so, I got some more advice about outlining, and after some gnashing, took it. The outline I'm writing has smoothed out some problems, and suggested enough changes that I think I'm looking at ANOTHER RE-WRITE. Ye Gods.

However, here's my idea: next month is Nanowrimo, and I'm thinking, why not do (what I hope is) the final re-write for that? Why the hell not? I'm going to be working on it anyway, so why the hell not?

I'll post a link to my Nanopage here, after I get it all prettied up.

'how to write a novel'

Everybody's got a system. Outlines. Character Charts. Graphs. Spreadsheets. Conferences. Networking. Gah!

Maybe I'm not really a writer. Maybe I'm just a middle-aged broad with an idea and a computer.

It's SO CLOSE. It's almost there. The amorphous outline of the final chapter is taking shape in the grey matter. I can't quit now! Even if it sucks, I want to finish it. Even if I do it wrong.